I come from many places.

Have you ever felt the heaviness of the existence? I feel some right now, I’m sure I don’t feel the whole spectrum of it but last weeks have made me think a lot, about death, life, purposes, love etc. One day a priest invited me to leave the church, he said that my sin was too big and that I turn myself in many selves and people will always be uncomfortable with me because they will have difficulties to identify my purposes in life, also that my thoughts are fragmented. I have started and restarted this blog several times, in Fortaleza, Beijing and Amsterdam. Last times I deleted all the posts. Yes, it is difficult to finish something you began, especially for those who enjoy the process so much that don’t want it end or are afraid they end. Perception of myself, the others and the things are the most important issue in my writing here. The other important issue is me making connection to my selves in my own existence, so I am using this blog to dedicate it to Butoh. Throughout the year I will be sharing perceptions, thoughts, information, events, teachings, facts of Butoh. I started this year ill, beside my beautiful S. but still ill – got bacteria that ended up being a virus, which brought me fever, pain, a swollen throat and a mouth full of canker sores. When I started healing my mother died. I come from many places, it has been interesting to deposit a little part of my pain in every single place I have been to since last month. Amsterdam-Frankfurt-Vancouver-Frankfurt-Paris-Fortaleza-Paris-Gottingen, by now, next week Gottingen-Berlin-Helsinki. I am now in Gottingen taking part of my first day of a Butoh workshop facilitated by Tadashi Endo. My personal journey into Butoh is about to start, in a few hours. I am waiting at the train station in a café, waiting that the day begins so I won’t arrive there so early. Edith Piaf is singing, she’s following me everywhere. 45 more minutes and I will leave, I promise.